A few people have read the posts on my adventures in Cuba, and one of the resounding questions I get is on buying cigars. Where can you buy them, who can you trust, and so on.

Everywhere I’ve lived, and everywhere I’ve traveled there are street hustlers.

In New Orleans, the street hustle was the classic “I’ll bet you $5 I can tell you where you got your shoes…” Most people blindly looking over the distinct word-play of “got” thinking that their hustler means “purchased” and in the end, they GOT their shoes on their feet – “you got one on your left foot and one on your right foot, and you’re standing right here in New Orleans, Louisiana…that’s where you got them…” (pay the man $5)

In Havana, the street hustle game is very real when it comes to the tourists, and the biggest money hustle is obvious – cigars.

Everyone that goes to Cuba has to try the world renowned cigars even if they’re a non-smoker just so they can say that they were in Cuba and had a “real” Cuban cigar. Or they’re going to buy a box and bring those sticks back to their friends and claim they got a “great deal” (which is what the hustlers are relying on).

Since I was in Havana for 8 days I’m pretty sure I was approached by every single cigar hustler in the city. Being an American (who stood out like a sore thumb), I fell prey to every hustler in New and Old Havana as I traversed the various barrios and neighborhoods. I distinctly remember a bartender at La Floridita leaning over and asking if I needed any cigars, and when I told him I’d love one and that he should just put it on my tab – even he leaned back in and said “sorry, you’ll have to meet me outside…”

If you think used car salesmen have a bad rap, welcome to Havana.

On one evening, I remember one gentlemen following me at least two kilometers on my way back to my apartment, and I started to get nervous thinking that he was going to try and rob me. I spun around (about three blocks from where I was staying) and confronted him. He backed down rather quickly, still non-apologetic and said that he was just trying to really get me a good deal. He had nothing but my best interests at heart! Rather interesting take on how to stalk someone you’re trying to sell something to.

Anyhow, he left after I assured him I wasn’t interested, but the next day I woke up to a whole new round of badgering as I just walked around Havana. They’ll follow you as long as you’ll let them, and they’re maddeningly persistent. I’m well-traveled and I never want to be “that guy”, but after 4 days of non-stop badgering (they will literally start yelling “Hey America… America… Yeah you, America…!!!” from across the street) I started losing my patience.

The first 4 days I spent apologizing, lying, placating (to a certain degree), and trying to do everything I could to make them feel ok about me rejecting their “more than generous offer”. A person can only take so much before they become jaded, affected, and just fed up. They just couldn’t believe that I was “not interested”.

HERE’S THE HUSTLE:

• Hey America!!! America!!! Yeah you – you want cigars!!??? I work in the Cohiba (insert any Cuban cigar brand here) factory and once a month they allow their employees to purchase cigars for 75% off of what they normally pay. I have 5 boxes at my house. Please, you come. I show you. I take you to my house and you buy my cigars. They are Cohiba, and Partagas, and Bolivar… All the best cigars. You won’t find a better deal than this. This is ONE DAY ONLY. They’ll let me buy the cigars for 75% off what you would buy them for!!!! Come… Here, I live right here… It only takes a minute, and you’ll have the best cigars in Havana… Please!!! Please… Come…

HERE’S THE REALITY:

• First off – none of the factories have “employee discount” festival days. They are not celebrating some made-up holiday and giving their employees super discounted cigars “for 24 hours only…”
• Secondly – Communists don’t mess around man – every stick being produced is strictly accounted for, and if anything goes missing, there’s a good chance that the person who committed the “missing” also goes missing.
• Thirdly – what they don’t tell you (until the very end) is that the deal is only good if you buy them a box as well. So they’re selling you a box, and you have to buy them a box too – doesn’t make any sense at all.

On my 6th day in Havana, I decided that I’d test the waters. I had a “stalker” follow me to lunch, and I asked her what kind of cigars she had. She told me she worked at Partagas and had the Petite Coronas (a cigar I’m very familiar with as I used to be a cigar-tender in a former life). I asked her how much and she said that she only sold them by the box. She didn’t have individual cigars for sale. So after some prodding on my part, she produced a single Partagas “wrapped” cigar that was pretty close to the size of the Petite Corona. So I gave her $1 CUC ($1 US) and told her that if I liked it I would buy an entire box.

She handed me the cigar, and I pulled out a real one that I’d purchased about an hour before at the Partagas De Fabrica directly, and they definitely did not look the same. I showed her the differences side by side, and before I could say anything more she was gone.

I lit my real Partagas, and then broke the fake stick I just bought for $1 from her in half. The wrapper was weak, the filler was dusty cardboard, and the smell was so off-putting I just threw it away.

I asked the Padrona where I was staying about the situation and she told me – ‘that woman may actually work at the factory, but what happens is this; all of the leaves are separated into Premium, Good, and Discard. A premium cigar has the best of the best. An average cigar has a blend of Premium and Good. And anything leftover is considered Discard. And the people who work in the factories are making / stealing tons and tons of Discard (along with the binders) and going home and making them at home and pawning them off as Premium.’

In the end – if you’re in Havana, just go to Partagas De Fabrica. It’s located on Industria Street directly behind the Capitolio Nacional between Barcelona and Dragones. They are an official / licensed cigar shop in Havana, and they actually carry EVERY brand. Yes – you’re going to pay retail for everything you buy – but it’s sooooooo worth it. NOTHING BEATS THE REAL THING!!!

Cheers! ~CK