“Raising Resilient Backpackers: Why Kids Are Tougher Than You Think”

When we first started backpacking with Frances, I worried. Would she get hurt? What if the terrain was too challenging or the conditions too uncomfortable? It wasn’t long before my fears were put to rest. Frances is far tougher than I give her credit for, and as a parent, I often underestimate her ability to rise to a challenge. It’s time we let our kids show us just how resilient they are. Let’s talk about why you shouldn’t mollycoddle your kids too much on the trail and how letting them face manageable challenges can build strong, capable adventurers.

The Nature of Kids: Born Adventurers
Children are inherently curious and fearless—qualities that make them natural adventurers. Whether it’s scaling a rocky hillside or exploring a patch of forest, kids have a built-in drive to push their limits and learn through experience. As adults, we tend to project our fears onto them, forgetting that they’re often more adaptable and resourceful than we imagine.

In fact, research shows that kids are incredibly resilient. Studies have shown that facing challenges (even small ones) helps kids develop critical thinking skills, resilience, and confidence. For instance, I remember my 2-year-old daughter, Frances, navigating her first steep descent on a trail—sure, there were a few slips, but her determination to keep going outshined any frustration. She was proud of herself by the end, and I learned an important lesson: kids are tougher than we think.

Overcoming Parental Fears
It’s natural for parents to worry. “What if they fall?” “What if the hike is too hard?” These thoughts used to run through my mind on every outing. But I soon realized that by worrying too much, I was holding my kids back from discovering their own strengths.

Yes, your child might trip on a root or scrape a knee, but these are the moments where resilience is built. Every challenge they face (and overcome) teaches them that they’re capable of more than they imagined. The key is learning when to step back and let them experience those small struggles, which lead to big rewards in confidence and independence.

The Benefits of Letting Kids Struggle a Bit
Allowing kids to struggle—within reason—can foster their development in ways that staying in their comfort zone never will. By letting them face challenges such as carrying their own pack, crossing streams, or navigating a tricky trail, they learn perseverance, problem-solving, and grit.

For example, on a recent trip, Frances wanted to carry her own little backpack, filled with her essentials: a snack, water bottle, and favorite toy. The pack got heavy for her halfway through, and I was tempted to take it from her. But instead, we paused, reassessed, and she found her own solution—adjusting the straps and taking smaller steps. That moment of struggle was transformative for her; she learned she could solve problems on her own.

Over time, these small moments of adversity build resilience, teaching kids that they can handle discomfort and that challenges are not something to fear.

Practical Tips for Balancing Toughness with Safety
Now, I’m not saying we should throw kids into the wilderness and let them fend for themselves! There’s a balance to be struck between encouraging resilience and ensuring safety. Here are some tips for giving your kids the right amount of challenge:

• Let Them Take the Lead: On safe, familiar trails, let your kids take charge of navigating or making decisions about where to explore next.
• Encourage Independence: Give them small responsibilities, like carrying their own backpack, helping set up camp, or gathering firewood.
• Don’t Intervene Too Quickly: If they’re struggling with something that isn’t dangerous—like climbing over rocks or dealing with a small insect—resist the urge to step in. Let them figure it out.
• Teach Risk Assessment: Rather than sheltering them from every potential risk, teach your kids how to assess risks on their own. Show them how to check for stability on rocks or how to handle slippery paths.

Building Trust Between Parent and Child
As you step back and let your kids take on more responsibility in the outdoors, something amazing happens—you build trust. You trust your child to handle challenges, and in turn, they trust themselves more. This is a powerful bond that extends beyond the trail into everyday life.

Your kids start to see that you believe in their capabilities, and that confidence will stay with them long after the camping gear is packed away. It’s a lesson in mutual respect and trust, one that grows stronger with every adventure.

Raising Stronger, Braver, and More Confident Kids
At the end of the day, one of the best gifts we can give our kids is the chance to prove their own resilience. Yes, there will be scraped knees, tired legs, and moments of frustration, but those are the moments that build character and strength. By stepping back and allowing our kids to face challenges head-on, we’re raising independent, brave, and confident little adventurers. We send Frances to a forest school where she gets to play outside the majority of every day – rain, snow or shine. And we love the fact that the school fosters these same beliefs and encourages Frances to be herself. To explore. To push the boundaries.

Do we get text messages from the school letting us know she had an accident – of course, it’s all part of the adventure.

So, the next time you’re out in the wild and tempted to smooth the path for your child, take a step back. Let them stumble a little, let them figure things out, and watch them grow. You’ll be amazed at how tough they really are.

Cheers! ~CK